Time has come...

H m m m m m m m m m m m

I guess the time has come

*wink*

Hard time

It's just hard to find someone who you truly love with all your heart.

What more to say find someone who is truly love you with all his or her heart.

And it's like when you were thinking that you just found the right one for you but it turn out that actually it's not.

Or even you think that he or she is the right one for you but it tuen out to be the opposite from the other party.

How sad can that be?!

Sometimes things just don't go to the way you want to.

That's life.

No matter how sad is it, how suffering is it, how unacceptable is it, how harsh is it.

You still have to bear and deal with it.

THAT'S LIFE!!!

It's just sad that you can't get the things that you want or the way you want something to be.

What I'm trying to say here is I'm still learning how to deal with the sad facts which I had a hard time in accepting it.

I still need time to deal with it.

I need a very very very damn very long time to deal with it.

I'm sorry if any of my attitude make you guys feel uneasy.

I'm saying sorry cause someone told me something about it.

I have feelings.

Those feelings just kept coming back and I'm trying to deal with it too.

If I'm wasn't so serious about it I wont have a hard time dealing with those facts and feelings already.

I do understand that things can't go back anymore.

No more feelings means NO MORE.

It's the end, Buhhhhhh Bye.

I still need time and I'm not trying to hold something here.

I hope the day that I really forget everything just come sooner or faster.

Oh My Gosh!!!

OH
MY
GOSH
!!!

OH
MY
GOSH
!!!

OH
MY
GOSH
!!!

OH
MY
GOSH
!!!

OH
MY
GOSH
!!!

PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE AND THINK ABOUT THE PAST... I CAN'T BEAR TO BE EMO AGAIN... I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THE SAD, SUFFERING AND THOSE HURTING MOMENTS I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS YEAR...
I'M SCARED OF IT...

Question!!!

I have a question!! I have a question!!

Can Anybody tell me why people like to keep things in their heart?? And not saying it out?? Even the closest person they also wont speak out their problems!! How come huh?? For example, my Dad. Even he got a big big big problem he wont tell my Mum. How come huh?? It's like they have been living with each other for half of their life and yet my Dad don't even wanna tell what had happen. Oh My Gosh! It's like so weird man! You can't even trust your own wife? Or you don't wan your wife to suffer from it also? Aren't husband and wife should bear with happiness and sadness together? Why can't you just speak up?! My Mum kinda suffer with my Dad's attitude. It's kinda suffering that knowing the love ones is in trouble and have problem bothering them but don't even know what is it and can't help in anything. WootS!! I can feel the pain eh.

Daddy ar Daddy... People out there ar people out there... Don't keep everything to yourself. Don't you know that your love ones and people who care about you is suffering also? Speak up your mind please. =)

p/s: I notice that mostly the horoscope sign that like to hide their feelings and problem is VIRGO sign. As you can see my Daddy is a Virgo, ,my best friend is a Virgo and don't like to speak up also, Him is a Virgo also and Jayson is a Virgo and we don't really know anything about him.

Truly Madly Deeply

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy, I'll be your hope
I'll be your love, be everything that you need
I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply, do
I will be strong, I will be faithful

Because I am counting on a new beginning
A reason for living a deeper meaning yeah~~

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shinning brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish send it to heaven that will make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection

Of the highest power and lonely hours
The tears divide you

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
Cause it's standing right before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be you dream, I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy, I;ll be your hope
I'll be your love be everything that you need
I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply, do

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna play with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea, yeah~~
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna play with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

I wanna stand with you on a mountain

Tired...

Don't know what had got into me again. Feeling so down the whole night. How come huh? Mood swing again? Don't think so. I'm just feeling very very down. Plus I feel very tired also. Don't feel like thinking so much and using my brain anymore. I wanna be dead!! Can't I just stop using my brain for 1 day? Just 1 day. I'm tired of living! Not that I wanna die or what. I just wanna have a rest for my brain. Not thinking of anything. And I'm tired of not knowing why I suddenly feeling so down. Seriously don't know why. It's like everything jumble up in my mind. Lots of thinking... Lots and lots of thinking... I don't like. Why must I have a complicated brain. How come it looks like I'm the only one who think this much? Or maybe you people out there think as much as me and even think more than me but you guys just keep it to yourself and didn't tell anybody. =)

What else can I say. This is me and that is you. We are different. I know that. And for me adopting people's attitude is 1 thing I would wanna try out. Wanna feel like keeping things to myself and wanna know how people feel like if I'm keeping things to myself.

R.I.P

I

DIE

ONCE

AGAIN

6 JULY 2009

4.03 P.M.

Why?

Why is it feel like that everything is coming back again?
Why am I being emo again?
Why do I still care about Him?
Why do I still so eager to know about his stuff?
Why can't I just let it go once and for all?
Why does things have to come back after a period of time?
Why do I still have feeling towards him?
Why do I still miss him sometimes?
Why do I still think about the past?
Why does it so hard to forget about what had happen?
Why is it so hard to forget a person?
Why am I still kinda feeling the hurt that he did?
Why am I still feel like crying over him?
Why am I still believing in it?
Why is this happening over and over again?

I feel like disappear in this world now. Leaving nothing in this world. Not to think of anything. Not to suffer in this situation anymore. Just leaving everything in the world.

Unsolve

I so don't like people leaving me a question without an ANSWER!!
Bitch!! Please la hor... Don't you know it's very suffering when you're EAGER to know something but you just can't get any answer out of it!! F*UCK la!!! You think Da Vinci Code meh now?? Want me to go solve it myself!! Go hell la you!!

I don't even know why I so eager wanna know about it!! Shiat!!! Maybe things are coming back again??!! F*UCK!!!!!! Don't wanna involve in it anymore man!!!! I quit!!!!!!

BBQ night!!!!

Event: BBQ
Place: Drey's house
Date : 2nd July 2009
Time : 7.00 p.m onwards

Having BBQ at Drey's house yesterday night. Shesh!!! It was FUN man!! I think the fun part are those liquor and beer. Haven't been drinking like this since ages!! I mean drink for a happy event. I've always drink alone and it's always cause I'm emo. I guess this is why people go to clubs huh? =)

Before having all those fun, I've been helping Drey to prepare the food. Reach her house at 2 p.m. something almost 3 p.m. and I promise to reach at 2 p.m. I thought I was late for the helping. Eventually, I'm the first one who arrived to help. *haha* The others are late. They arrived at 3 p.m. something almost 4 p.m. I guess. I was busying with the cooking part while the others clean outside of the house. Oh ya. Jayson, Lewis and Jason (Ang ge) help too. Lewis and Jason cook the spagetti. What can I say. It's nice. Shouldn't underestimate their cooking skills eh. *haha*

After finishing all the preparation for the party to start. I took a bath at Drey's house. Can't stand not taking a bath after sweating. How stupid am I that I forgot to bring towel. Drey borrowed me hers. Thanks, Drey. And kinda sorry I "mahuan" you. =S

Let's get the party started!!!!!!
The "hosts" was doing the BBQ. Which include Jason, Lewis and Him. Then the others kinda sit there and wait. That was at the begining. Then people starting to take over the grill. Except me. *haha* I'm wearing white colour shirt what. *paiseh* I was full already after eating the potato salad, spagetti, 2 sausages and a chicken wing.

Then start the drinking part!!!!!
Thanks to Jason that I'm kinda drunk. Asking people drink is the best part he did yesterday night. *haha* Then half way partying, the police came and said the neighbours complaint about those noises we made. Luckily nothing really happen also. After that we continue with the party. Everybody was kinda drunk that night expect for Yu An. He did not drink a single drop. *haha* The first person who drunk is Jason Bong. The first person who vomit was Johnny. *haha* So bad I laugh at him. xP I started to felt drunk when I drink the red wine. Then Kelvin keep laughing when he was drunk. So damn funny.

Oh ya. Remember the second previous post I was saying I'm predicting what they will do? I predict they would "suan" me right? Guess again. I was half correct ONLY. Never would expect that they will play so "rough" (cho). Er... Don't wanna mention anything about that. Whole night was "suan-ing" away.

I went back home at around 12. 21 a.m. Then off to bed I go. Overall, I was happy and I seriously had fun. I was so damn full!!!

I'm sad =(

Jayson went back to KK already. Went to have dinner with him, Drey and Brandon. Then we went to send Jayson off to airport. I MISS him so much!! I don't like the feeling of seperation. Especially with someone who is very close again.

ARGH!!!!!!!!! I seriously hate it!!!!
Kinda reminds me how me and Him separate while I'm still deeply in love with Him. Okay quit those stuff. Don't wanna think of it anymore. Like what people say, we cannot go back to past and we can't change it. So just let it be. Time cures everything. Even the cut in my heart, but I know it wont fully recover. =)

I'm so freaking moody now. I miss Jayson. Oh My Gosh!! Never miss a person so much despite of Him. But please don't get me wrong. I don't LOVE him love him. I only LOVE him as a FRIEND. He's my BEST GUY FRIEND!!! *haha* I've been telling everything about me, my life, my feelings, my EVERYTHING!! How can I don't miss him when he's not here? Although sometimes he very "cipai" and "pubo" la. But I still love him. =D Feel like crying ah!!!!! How I wish he won't go back. Without him to spice up my life it's like my life is so dead.

Quit saying about the sad stuff already.
P/s: Take care, Jayson!! I'll MISS you!! If only u read my blog la. =)If go Labuan bring me back chocolates and alcohol!!!!! *haha*

Can't think of 1

Just feel like writing something. But I've got nothing to write. *haha* Bored what. Gonna bring my bro back to school later. Driver!
Then later gonna be busy with the BBQ things. =)

Plus, I'm kinda predicting something. What would happen tonight. I think will being "suan" again. *haha* Plus with that Jayson's stupid action wanting me to admit something that I don't wanna admit and have no reason in admitting it. Shesh~~

I guess I use my brain too much. Don't care whatever it is I'll think very far and hesitate in doing every single thing. Can't I just don't think too much? Kinda hate my attitude of thinking too much about everything. *hehe*

Doze off...

Short post before I doze off. Kinda have minor headache right now. Maybe the weather is too hot for me to handle eh. *hehe*
Nothing much about this afternoon really. The kinda "thing" really happen is...

From top to bottom... Here it goes...
Went out with Karen, Jayson and Kelvin today. I went to picked Jayson and Karen then head off to tHe Spring where Kelvin already waited us there. "Paiseh la Kelvin. For keep you waiting." We was like half an hour late. xP Then have my breakfast plus lunch at tHe Spring Food Bazar. Actually is kinda like high tea also? cause it's almost 3 p.m. already. I ate Salad Chicken Rice. Never try before and this is my first time eat the Salad Chicken Rice thre. It was not bad after all. Kinda the best Salad Chicken Rice. *haha*

After that we went for Ais Kacang. Hot weather with a nice cooling Ais Kacang is the best. At first we went to Stutong marktet to eat Ais Kacang. But it was closed so we headed to San Xiao there eat. But Kelvin said his car no petrol and need me to bring him. So i suggested him to parked his car at Lorong 16 and I'll bring him. When we reached there it was full of people. After finish our Ais Kacang then I drove them back to Lorong 16. Okay!! Get ready ya!!
The best part is coming!! *haha*

While we headed back to Lorong 16. There is high school girl which is quite cute in the back passenger seat in a car in front of me keep on looking at Kelvin. At first we din notice till Kelvin told us. *haha* Then we kinda like observing the girl. Like what had been told by Kelvin. That girl is like keep on peeking at Kelvin. Then we start "suan" Kelvin. *haha* Keep asking him to say "Hi" to that girl and kinda say he coward (sorry for using this word, english not that good and can't find another word to substitute it). Don't dare to say "Hi" to the girl and shy-ing away. He was like don even dare to look at the girl. *haha* It's the first time I see him acting like that. So damn shy! Kelvin, where is your skills that you've been saying you are good in hooking up with girls huh? *haha*

After that, I went to pick my brother from his school. Tired of being a driver la. Wish that I can afford another car. A Kancil for me I be satisfied already. *hehe* Okay... Off to bed now. And dream of me having a car. *haha*

Nites~~

Rise and Shine

My morning is kinda okay. Sleep till 11.30 a.m. Haven't been sleeping till this late already. Kinda lazy wanna wake up this morning and keep on lazying around on my bed till almost 12 noon. Ya... I know. I act like a pig. It's nice okay? Haven't been really doing this since long time ago? Cause I really forget how long I've not been lazying around on my bed already.

I'm kinda obsess with the song "Unbreak My Heart" it's originally by Toni Braxton. But I listen to Whitney Houston version. I've been keep repeating it all over again and again. Oh My Gosh... It's so damn nice. Totally love the lyrics man! Oh ya... Went to Enter K with Jayson and Kelvin. We sang this song. And guess what? I phail. Know why? Cause I kinda don have the voice to sing this song. *haha*

Till here I'll stop. Maybe gonna update my blog very soon. Like tonight? Kinda addicted to blogging now. =D