Dedicating this song to YOU.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
S.H.I.T
Didn't realize that today it's 20th.
FML Big Time!! ='(
Plus Receiving this kind of News on this date.
Fuck! It really meant A LOT to me.
='(
FML Big Time!! ='(
Plus Receiving this kind of News on this date.
Fuck! It really meant A LOT to me.
='(
I'm dead... Again~~
It's sooo DAMN funny that I'm actually wondering how many times my heart can die for the same guy and back alive again..
My heart was tearing apart this afternoon when I heard "about the news". Omg!! I can't even relief it out!! Cause there were friends with me and I'm outside a shopping mall. It's so so so soooooo hard for me to control myself not to cry it out loud. When I keep trying not to burst into tears I feel that my heart was aching plus wanna vomit. Then I ran into the toilet. Finally I burst into tears. It's the first time I cried in a shopping malls' toilet. WTF!!
That's not the end of story. When I was playing with Karen's Iphone. I accidentally read her message which a friend sent to her. The message was saying that Karen's friend saw HIM at Boulevard with two girls and one guy. I bet it's a double date tho. Sigh. Why do God wanna let me know more about it? I've been sad enough.
I actually feel like something is slaughtering me apart inside. My heart is been tearing apart and being throw into a rubbish dump. Plus I feel like hurting myself to relief all those pain. I even feeling kinda angry at myself for everything. I really feel like inside of me is dying. I might as well die soon.
Whatever it is. I hope that she's better than me (I know she is). Hope that she take care of you like nobody do. No matter what there's still somebody out there waiting and cares for you.
May God bless both of you.
My heart was tearing apart this afternoon when I heard "about the news". Omg!! I can't even relief it out!! Cause there were friends with me and I'm outside a shopping mall. It's so so so soooooo hard for me to control myself not to cry it out loud. When I keep trying not to burst into tears I feel that my heart was aching plus wanna vomit. Then I ran into the toilet. Finally I burst into tears. It's the first time I cried in a shopping malls' toilet. WTF!!
That's not the end of story. When I was playing with Karen's Iphone. I accidentally read her message which a friend sent to her. The message was saying that Karen's friend saw HIM at Boulevard with two girls and one guy. I bet it's a double date tho. Sigh. Why do God wanna let me know more about it? I've been sad enough.
I actually feel like something is slaughtering me apart inside. My heart is been tearing apart and being throw into a rubbish dump. Plus I feel like hurting myself to relief all those pain. I even feeling kinda angry at myself for everything. I really feel like inside of me is dying. I might as well die soon.
Whatever it is. I hope that she's better than me (I know she is). Hope that she take care of you like nobody do. No matter what there's still somebody out there waiting and cares for you.
May God bless both of you.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Have No Guts!!
When I'm half awake just now, I wish that something or somebody would take over my body and using my phone to text him. At least when the message had sent to him I would have an excuse saying that it wasn't me who send the message and it was somebody else taking over my body and messaged him. Another excuse would be I'm blur and I maybe sleep walking by messaging him in a blur condition.
Omg! I damn fucking NO guts!!
I'm afraid that I would receive a harsh replied message from you. Plus is like I'm messaging him for nothing. I'm afraid that he would think that I'm annoying. I've been promising myself to have the guts to text him since two weeks ago. I'M PATHETIC!!!!!
God, please bless me and give me the strength to overcome my cowardliness act.
*Amen*
Omg! I damn fucking NO guts!!
I'm afraid that I would receive a harsh replied message from you. Plus is like I'm messaging him for nothing. I'm afraid that he would think that I'm annoying. I've been promising myself to have the guts to text him since two weeks ago. I'M PATHETIC!!!!!
God, please bless me and give me the strength to overcome my cowardliness act.
*Amen*
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